Thursday, December 29, 2011

New Year's Resolution ...?

The holidays are once again behind us, the time with family and friends eating and drinking until we pass out is over until next year, well, for some of us anyway.
           I’ve never been one for making New Year’s resolutions, because, like many others who are gun-ho in the beginning, life just gets so darn busy and I inevitably end up guilty for not keeping them.  I do however have goals—I set these aside for myself all through the year.
           This year’s goals are already planned, and they’ve been planned since October, barring any unforeseen events—which always happen—I stick to these goals solidly, even with the unexpected. For those of my friends following my writing, this year you can expect some real exciting stuff!  First off will be my erotic Steampunk novella Mile Below Peep Show the companion to my short story Mile High Airship Club. If you’ve ever dreamed of deliciously drenching undersea adventure then this will be the novella for you—and I can honestly say it is beyond your wildest imaginings! If you’re taking a vacation next year, be sure to take it while reading MBPS! 
           Next will be the epic novel I’ve been dying to get to you all—I can’t divulge the title yet—as I’m not sure when it will be published, but it’s a young adult dark fantasy with a very unique twist on the world of the faerie. It’s not for the faint of heart, and yes, there is romance, but not much—this is a purely heart-racing on the edge of your seat adventure! Need a place to escape and love bigger-than-life world building—this will be the book for you to take note of!  The pages are filled with monsters and creatures never before written about and chock-full of new and old mythology.
          Another little gem will be my short-story Chimera: A Dark Fairytale of Love, it’s available here on my blog for you to read for free, but I will also be adding it to Amazon. com as a free read.
            If food is your thing, two of my recipes will be in the Have A Heart for Horror Cookbook, a benefit cookbook brought to you by Crimson Stained Lace Productions.
            And for those of my friends who are GBLT , I’ve been working on an anthology of gay erotic horror stories, and again, this anthology will be much different from the usual fare of reads, and it covers a wide variety of monstrously entertaining treats!
           So, I better get writing, huh …
            What are your new year’s goals? I would love to hear what you have planned this year—whether it be this year’s Halloween costume, events attending, or even changing jobs—let’s work together to keep our goals positive and on track!

Thank You Everyone!--for your comments and participating ;) The contest is now over, but feel free to leave any comments you would like ... Cheers!
Wishing Everyone Years of Endless Wonders!

Nishi Serrano!/NishiSerrano

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Cursing Up The Christmas Tree

(Disclaimer: no trees were hurt in the making of this story!)
CURSING UP THE CHRISTMAS TREE: Part One, by Carson Buckingham

I don’t know about all of you, but living in my house is a real experience—especially at Christmas time.
To start with, I lapse into temporary insanity, which exhibits itself in the Yuletide delusion that I suddenly have the culinary ability that I so obviously lack during the rest of the year.
Oh, yes.  It’s time to bake the cookies.
It would be sweet if it wasn’t so pathetic.  Every year, I bake hundreds of cookies, which I tie up in red or green cellophane with a beautiful bow.  These I then present to friends and relatives…who, if they are smart, eat the red or green cellophane and throw away the cookies.
And I don’t bake just one kind of cookie, either.  My usual Christmas assortment includes:

·         Peanut Butter Stuffed Dates:  My adventure in taxidermy

·         Sugar Plums:  Which may not dance in your head, but certainly do a production number in your colon

·         Russian Tea Cakes:  Which resemble and taste like eastern European ammunition

·         Caramel Bars:  The operative word here is “bars”

·         Chocolate Bark:  With real bark!

·         Divinity:  A cruel joke

·         Meringues:  Who needs throwing knives?

·         Black and White Brownies:  My contribution to the complete destruction of interracial harmony within the fairy realm

·         Hermits:  What you will become whenever you hear that I’ve been baking cookies again.

The friends I have left refer to this farrago as “The Annual Waste of Ingredients.”

Naturally, my husband, Stij, plays a big part in the festivities of the season, as well.  He goes with me to get the Christmas tree.  Our children, Leo and Alexandrea, are left at home, suffering from some exotic, as yet unnamed malady resulting from careless cookie consumption.

The first step, upon our arrival at the tree lot, is for Stij to say—in a soft voice that will cause cattle to stampede two towns away—“Criminey!  These things are EXPENSIVE!  Let’s go over to K-Mart and get a fake one!”

This behavior ceases after I threaten to shove a Tea Cake down his throat.

The lot we go to every year always has a great selection—easily a hundred trees or more, much to Stij’s chagrin.  I have the patience of the Venus Di Milo, and will carefully inspect every single tree before making a choice.

Stij, you understand, has no part in this decision whatsoever.  He’s just along to shut up, pay for the tree, and tie it to the roof of the car.  Until he is needed, he wanders off to the sales shack to have a drink with the other men who are waiting for their wives to pick out trees.   Oh, and that’s another thing—it’s an unwritten law that all men must BYOB to the Christmas tree lot.  And they’re happy to do it, believe me.

OK.  Three hours later, the tree is on the roof of the car and everybody’s happy—I because I got the “perfect” tree; and Stij because he got Alvin drunk enough on the good scotch he bought to knock an extra five dollars off the price.  The simple economics of the fact that he had to pay forty dollars for the scotch that bought him a five dollar discount are lost on him.

By the time we get home, our children, being the resilient little creatures that they are, have recovered from the cookie poisoning that would have killed anyone else and are ready to help put up the tree.

The first argument is where to put it.  Leo always thinks it would be best to put it in his room.

“You can’t have it in your room, Leo,” Alexandrea exclaims.  “There’s no chimney!”

“That’s OK,” Leo assures her.  “There’s one in the living room.  He can just come down in there and walk into my room.  He needs to lose a little weight, anyhow.”

It’s at this point that Stij has had enough and gives them THE LOOK.  “It’s going in the living room,” he intones in a voice from beyond the grave.

They didn’t ever argue with him.  Legend had it that after THE LOOK came THE REMINGTON.  They’d never pushed their luck past THE LOOK.

Location decided, I fetch the tree stand…the bane of male existence everywhere.  That metal nightmare with the three trunk screws has been known to fill lunatic asylums the world over during the month of December.

“It won’t matter which side shows,” I chirp.  “The whole tree is perfect, just perfect.”

After twenty minutes of wrestling, Stij gets it screwed into the stand and steps back.

The tree is listing about 45 degrees to starboard.

“*($%*()(&%&$^*&(*@#@#@#!” he mutters. Crawling back under, unscrewing it, realigning the trunk, then rescrewing it back in place again.

He crawls out and steps back.

45 degrees to port now.

After two hours of this, he makes a discovery.  About half way up the tree, the trunk is crooked.  And not just mildly, either.  The S-bend of the plumbing under the sink is straighter.

Stij slowly emerges from beneath the lower branches.  His eyes are red-rimmed.  His hair has gone completely white.  His teeth are now elongated and pointed.  He looks like Dracula’s Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come.

One look at this apparition and self-preservation kicks in.  We all run and hide.

When the cursing and the sounds of heavy equipment die down, and after first waving a hat on the end of a stick out the door, we venture forth to survey the wreckage.

There is a chain saw smoking in the corner and greenery and wood ships festooned about the room.  The tree stand has been reduced to a mass of twisted metal, after which it was summarily lobbed into the cat’s litter box.

The tree is now two and a half feet tall and nailed directly to the floor.

I gaze upon it lovingly and smile.  “You see?  I told you it was perfect.”


Carson Buckingham--Author of HOME

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Thank You Carson!--for this wonderfully tragical comedy or comical tragedy of a Christmas story!  

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Curio Emporium's Endless Wonders!

Ever wonder where you can find a Pipistrellus Javanicus, or perhaps you’re missing that perfectly delicious antique quack White Cross Electric Vibrator? Wonder not ye wayfarers of the curiously exotic, for The Curio Emporium has all your darkest gadgetry desires located under one roof in the steel jungles of the Los Angeles area—to be exact: 1020 Fair Oaks, South Pasadena, CA 91030. So, mark it on your maps and get thee to the emporium!
     Furthermore Ladies and Gentleman, Co-owner Jenna Macabre is here today to give you the inside scoop on how she came about such odd treasures from around the globe, and what shadowy endeavors she and Dave Constantine have ‘in store’ for the future:

NS: Welcome to Wandering Hallows Night Jenna, I’m quite sure all my time traveling cohorts are thrilled to learn more about you and your curiosities. My first question is what I like to ask of all my guests: We are dying to know what kind of ‘macabre’ little chitlin’ you were? Obviously, you must have started at an early age as a lover of taxidermy?

Jenna: I have always been fascinated with the Macabre. Growing up I would watch a day’s worth of Tales From The Crypt, The Munsters, Bewitched.. etc etc.  I was always so fascinated with the interior of the Munsters home- I always wanted to live in it; cobwebs & all- Can't forget The Tim Burton Films. Of course when it came to Halloween Time, I was ready to help my parents decorate with staple gun in hand! And I cannot forget how interested I would get when going to the local county museum and seeing all the old medical equipment, taxidermy birds & bears, along with the exciting stories that went along with the exhibits.

NS: On this note, tell us more about your artwork that can be found at The Curio Emporium.

Jenna: From all these images stuck in my head from childhood, my inspiration has definitely developed a uniqueness of its own. I create things that I love, things that I myself would buy. Using my fascination with the Victorian era & taxidermy I like to let my mind drift, letting my hands do the work. My Creations become however they turn out. I never truly plan out what it is I am going to make. In short, I like to make creations that one can wear, or displays well on a wall or mantel.

NS: Someone as talented as yourself must have an inspiration, would you care to indulge who, what, and why?

Jenna: Why thank you! I am inspired by everything around me! Candles, old books, a nice breeze, music. Of course I love to work off of history research, past memories, concepts of the occult and so on. I find it interesting that those that fall in love with my work are often not in tune with the past & history. So when they see something of mine, which is based off a concept from 100 years ago, they are astonished, because to them it is something new. In this sense, I feel happy to know that I am keeping the past ALIVE .

NS: I believe it’s safe in saying you’ve accomplished a dream, how did it all come about?

Jenna: My Love (David Constantine) & I share a likeness of minds. In many of our journeys we could never find the shop we dreamed about & on top of it all unique items in our price range. After years of it  ‘just being a dream' we began to get serious about it—saving money, searching for a location, understanding the logistics & working hard for several months with the design of the shop & merchandise inventory. And now, here you go ~ a custom made time travel machine. :)

NS: In your words, how would you describe your store to someone who doesn’t know much about steampunk, or the types of curiosities therein?

Jenna: Think back to a time when a room was lit by candle, when movie cinema going was an occasion to dress your best for, when medical attention was nothing more than some alcohol and sterilized scalpel. A time when all men wore hats & women in corsets, inventions were at their peak & the newest book was all the rage.
     The Curio Emporium takes you back to memories of your great grandparents long since past. We are viewed as a Museum in which you can walk away with a shopping bag, and money still left in your bank. Our shop in a nutshell—Come travel back in time with us!
 NS: As a fellow time-traveler, on one of your sojourns to the past (or future) who was your favorite person of interest you met, or partied frivolously with?

Jenna: ... hmmm... I would have to say Houdini!

NS: Where online can we find you, and are there any events The Curio Emporium will be attending?
Jenna: You can find us 'The Curio Emporium' on Facebook of course, as well as our website which has the link to our Ebay shop for those of
you not local, or just too lazy to leave the house :)
     You can also visit our shop at 1020 Fair Oaks Ave., South Pasadena, CA 91030 ( directly across from the old Rialto theatre)
     Our next event is Sat. Dec. 18th ' CURIO BEFORE CHRISTMAS' 3-8pm. food truck, puppet show, artists, ice cream, FREE.

NS: What wonderfully whimsical brassy bits do you and Dave have planned for the future of The Curio Emporium?

Jenna: ... expanding—same shop, more great finds. Stay Tuned!

NS: Fantastical meeting you Jenna! I can’t wait to visit the emporium myself when I’m back in California. Any last parting advice or curious crumbs you would like to leave our readers with?

Jenna: If you ever have an idea, a dream, a wish—Make It Happen! You are the only one who will ever truly stop yourself from anything it is you want to do in life!
     It was Great to meet you too! Thank you for having me!
Remember my friends—Christmas is just around the corner, and what better gift to give than The Curio Emporium’s wonders of worlds past, and futures yet imagined!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Who’s been naughty, and who’s been nice? If you fear cloven hooved devils brandishing switches, then you better say nice. Why? Because Krampus may have it out for you, however, if you’re into that sort of kink, well then your answer is—NAUGHTY! Have to say I may be in with the naughty crowd. Is it wrong for me to find a tall, hairy creature threatening to whip this very bad girl exciting? Did I forget to mention the chains (squee!)? Check out the pictures and you decide. I’ve posted a few of my favorites that I’ve found on the web (I do not own these photos), so grab a mug of hot spiked cider, and I’ll tell you a little about Krampus.

Known as the ‘holiday demon’, Krampus is the evil counterpart to the generous and happy-go-lucky Saint Nicholas (you know—Santa Claus). Krampus follows Ol’ Saint Nick around to dole out the lashes to everyone on Nick’s shit list. If you’re a particularly pretty girl, he might be inclined to chase you even if you were a cherry on the pie all year long—sorry (I suggest you wear a cloak and doff a witch’s nose, fools him everytime!)!

     Krampusnacht (krampus night) is celebrated across the globe, but apparently started in the Alpine countries. Festivals celebrating Krampus can be found from Italy to Japan, and America. There’s even a Krampus beer—seems we all love a horny devil!

     I’ve even read somewhere of a dark and stormy night when a town was awoken by the incessant barking of dogs and the noise of Krampus galloping over the snowy rooftops. When morning came, the folk checked their roofs and found that over several miles the large hoof prints of an upright beast had made passage. Hmm …

Here’s an interesting websites to check out if you’d like to learn more about Krampus:

So, if Krampus and good ol’ Nick came to your door, would you plead naughty or nice, and why? I’m dying to hear your comments!